Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Night Before

The night before Ryder has to get a procedure done is always the worst for me.  I hate the night before’s.  They bring on so much anxiety for what is to come and so much sadness for what is happening.  Ryder is always so oblivious on the night before and I become stricken with guilt knowing that he is just going about his business as normal not realizing that it is a night before. 

Tomorrow Ryder is getting his right arm put in a cast that will have to stay on for the next three weeks.  I’ve known about this treatment for a long time and have felt very strongly that Ryder is an excellent candidate for it.  I feel deep in my heart that if Ryder has any hopes of recovering use of his left hand, it would be with this treatment.  The thought of moving forward and actually getting the casting done has always excited me as I think about how beneficial it could be in the long run.

But now, tonight, on the night before, all of that excitement comes to a screeching halt as I desperately try to swallow the lump in my throat.  Taking his right arm away completely takes away his independence.  We will be going straight back to the basics.  He will have to learn how to eat, how to drink, how to play, how to pull his covers up at night if he gets cold, how to move his hair if it gets in his eyes.  He has been living in a one-handed world and now we’re taking that hand away from him. 

I’m just trying to think long term and remember how much he’s going to benefit from this.  As always, I remind myself of his age and that we’re getting these things out of the way in a time that he won’t even remember.  And I have to remember who I’m talking about…it’s Ryder, the most determined, strong-willed little guy who figures out how to make things happen and usually does it with a smile on his face.

I know this will be frustrating for him, and for us too I’m sure.  But I also know that God put this in our lives for a reason, the stroke and everything that came along with it.  He knows that we are strong enough to get through it, and we will.  One step at a time.  For now, I just need to get through the night before…

11 comments:

  1. I know that you are nervous, but you guys are doing what's best for Ryder in the long run. It might be hard at first, but like you said, if anyone can handle it, Ryder can! Thinking of you guys as you go through this tomorrow!

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  2. Praying for a smooth transition and a good 3 weeks of improvement for Lefty. Ryder can do it and he will probably surprise you with even more strength and that it doesnt bother him! Go to bed so you can get through the night before....!!! :) Love your family!

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  3. Gosh I can only imagine how you're feeling tonight - just know you have friends and family who are thinking and praying for Ryder on a daily basis, we love you guys!
    And like Nicki said, if anyone can handle this, it's Ryder ;)

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  4. As I read this...I was gettin teary eyed...so I stopped to pray for you and Alan...God lead me to some scriptures for you, so I thought I would pass them on (I hope you get a chance to read this before you leave in the morning or even if you're still up worrying):
    John 16:33 "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." ...and Romans 8:18 "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." ...and this last one, and when you read it-YOU WILL SEE WHY!... Matthew 11:28 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." GET SOME SLEEP!!!
    Everythings gonna be JUST fine, Ryder is a very strong lil boy with two VERY SUPPORTIVE parents who love him, and a HUGE support network of family and friends who are praying for all of you... Stay calm, or Ryder will sense that you are anxious. He's going to adjust just fine, you'll see...someday you will look back and laugh about ALL "the night before's" that were seemingly HUGE happenings in the life of your children and realize how small of a piece of Gods magnificent puzzle they all were...and it'll hit you-HEY!!! -WE MADE IT THRU the rough spots BECAUSE of God! *HUGS* hang in there! P.S. I want to sign his cast!!! ;)--(so tell Uncle G to save some room for others! lol) Keep smiling! WE LOVE YOU! Aunt B! Call me if you need anything!

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  5. Praying for a good day today and a smooth transition for little Ryder. God Bless you all!

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  6. As everyone else has said, Ryder is going to overcome this little hurdle just as he has every other time before! He is a tough boy & I know he will impress us all again with his strength :) Praying for an easy day today for you guys!

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  7. I hope for the best today! I know Ryder will be such a strong guy like he always is :) Let me know how it goes, and if you need anything, let me know! Love you guys!

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  8. He's going to do great. I'm so sorry for how you're feeling though! I wish you didn't have to have that "night before" feeling :(

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  9. Thinking of you guys today. Give Ryder a hug and kiss from me, and tell him we all love him! Call me when you can. and you know I'm here if you need me. Like you said, he's a very strong little boy and he's going to amaze you guys once again :) love you!

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  10. Praying for you today!! I hope this treatment works & I know Ryder is strong, he will come out on top!

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  11. You have always done what is best for Ryder, you've been his number one advocate and his outcome will be awesome because of you!! He will do great, you're doing the right thing.

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